Codependency

PattyPowers SoberCoach in NYC Posted on FB:

Yesterday, a therapist said “You know the saying – if you scratch an addict, you’ll find co-dependence underneath.” I’m curious what your thoughts are on this.

Ricky Gelb’s reply:
Ive worked with Pia Melody & Melody Beatie who tend to be known as the authors & therapist trainers on this topic and have heard this from most book trained therapists. But I feel they offer little as a solution. If the concept of Lack of power (pg 45 in AA Big Book) is true, than simply having knowledge of such info of being codependent offers little to a solution. Because we do not have the power to change it out of self will. They suggest, building a relationship with the power is the solution. In addition, thinking is the greatest form of powerlessness as we have short term thinking and change our minds (AA BB pg 24) eludes to, we can not stay “changed” from memory regardless of how bad or recent an event is. With that being said, I have found that when you scratch the Co-dependence underneath we find a lack of self-love/worth. Without self love, we can not experience true intimacy with, God, others & self. We will need love like a child rather than sharing great mutual whole love. We will be trying to fill the lack of self worth with other-esteem. I was an extreme codependent, I basically suffered from identity theft from childhood, was programed to have a false constitution that dictated every part of me, and to kill such pain I turned to heroin addiction. Today due to an experiential of a form of meditation, I have a new concept of self. I love the creation that I AM. I see the Namaste within, The God within me, the amazing creation I had not brought into view before, I see how I AM a creation of the evolution from the horizon of the big bang to this moment, which is oneness. The attachments to outward, others, and drugs became not needed anymore, so they could not continue to attach to me. They were gone, I was awakened, recovered after decades of struggle & suffering. I did nothing but get really still and consciousness took over and I was free. Soon you will be able to share and take others through this method I call Meditaining as soon as I finnish¬†www.meditaining.com¬†I actually believe that all addictions including Co-dependence come from trying to relieve the discomfort of living not authentic to being. As God and the universe created me to be not the man made self. Now as Jesus said, I can be in the world but not of the world or as the Buddha said I can have form but emptiness to the attachments.

2 Comments to “Codependency”

  1. I not only “like” this post, I love this post. You nailed it! Humanity suffers from one issue as best I can ascertain. It may manifest in different forms of “disease, disorder, dysfunction, discomfort, or detachment,” but the solution is the same. We have the answer to our issues, we just don’t like the answer. No one ever taught us the value of going within. The answer we so desperately seek can not be found of this Earth and the material world. You always share solution. Thank you for these inspiring thoughts as I set the trajectory of my day.
    With love, Lisa Neumann

  2. Rite on Ricky. Awareness is the quite lasting answer. Knowledge has no meaningfull effect on any addiction. Awareness without ego-self, emotion and judgement allows addictions to fall away with no effort from us. When we strive thru knowledge we fail to fully overcome addiction and at best are miserable to both ourselves and all others. With awareness and meditation, we do nothing-the addiction drops away and we are at piece. I swear by “Awareness” written by Anthony De Mello as a fantastic starting point.

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